It’s good that possibly offensive/anti-inclusive comments are constrained to a specific channel, so that they don’t offend people in the other channels while the mod is participating and addressing any concerns. Good job Ivan and I think this might be a misunderstanding after all, which can happen in communities which do have people with diverse backgrounds and cultures

Thanks. I think so too, and I bet there would have been a way for me to handle this that led to fewer people being hurt by it. Hopefully being able to reflect on it all here in #CEXED56UR will help me learn from this so that I can do a better job keeping the tone civil. There are, of course, many kinds of comment that I would not allow us to keep on-the-record in public, even as an illustrative example. But this kind of subtle, likely inadvertant sexism is something where I hope the amount we can learn from reflecting on it outweighs whatever harm there is in allowing it to exist.

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, Ivan. This is one of those situations where sometimes it's impossible to avoid hurting someone. Because if you try to be more subtle you risk the behavior continuing longer. All in all, the worst-case scenario here is that it accelerates your (inevitable) burn-out managing this community. I think that should be the top priority to prevent.

Oh don't worry about me — I'm feeling fine. Just trying to make the most of this situation, and be a little more transparent about how things look from my point of view.